She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
