both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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