She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
