I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
