Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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