I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I smell like Dick and happiness
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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