You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
