Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
We need to get me chipped asap
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
