meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Randomize
