Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Randomize
