Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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