Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize