'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
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