he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
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