i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
