well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
