i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
