Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
