I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
