Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
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That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
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You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
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