i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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