No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
