At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
what day is it and did you see me today?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
