Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
