I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
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It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
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People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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