i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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