The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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