the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize
