I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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