mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
