Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
sarcasm needs its own font
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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