A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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