i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
