wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
