I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
