Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
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Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
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I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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