doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Randomize
