happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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