Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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