i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
