i can't believe i had my finger in that
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
