He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
