I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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