Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
whose parrot is this?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
