Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
