i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
