so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
