just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize