Umm I'm too high to move.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
