when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
