Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
