im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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