So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
You took a bar mat shot.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
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