I will die if light touches me.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
