Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
