Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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